First up, our friends’ baby has taken a very positive turn and is off the ventilator. I say tentatively that she’s through the worst.
Back to 2009, and I’m finding it hard to ‘define’ the year. On paper it has been the worst year of my life as I’ve been grieving the death of my daughter, but how can I reconcile that with the birth of a precious adorable third child?
I don’t know. It has been the worst of times. It has been the best of times.
I can’t decide whether we should be drinking champagne tomorrow evening, or just letting new year’s eve slip by while giving two fingers to 2009 and all the pain and tears we endured.
Really, it should be a combination of both. I now truly understand why the birth of a child should be celebrated. We should dance in the streets when a baby is born.
Also, we should probably give ourselves a little credit for simply getting through the year. Anyone who reads this blog has had a tough year and goddamit gets little credit for having got up each day and kept things together. So for that reason alone, we/you deserve to say ‘I survived 2009, now gimme that bottle’.
On the other hand, the coming year brings a new decade and we leave our beloved children that much more in the past. I know, I know, they are in our hearts and will always be with us. But their dates, their conception and births, are now in a nine or an eight -or beyond, while we move into TEN without them. We’re being dragged into the future whether we like it or not.
I think I’ll raise my glass, bidding adieu to 2009 and farewell, with respect, to the worst days I’ve ever experienced. I’ll raise again to my wife and my children living and deceased, and to all of you who have read or commented on this blog during the year.
I wish for a positive 2010 for all of us.