Posted by: irishdad | January 6, 2010

News, and a link

First: our friends baby, who was extremely sick, is now home and quite well! She’ll need a third operation between the age of 3 to 6 months but on the whole should be fine. Hooray for life.

Second: This may warrant investigation, but I don’t think the following piece in Time magazine on how Fa.cebook is changing the grieving process quite applies to the baby loss gang. Perhaps I’m wrong.

That is all. I am in work.



  1. Ha. You’re so right. The first thing I did when I got home after finding out Hope had died in utero was delete my facebook account. Couldn’t stand the idea of getting sympathy in that forum. Nearly 18 months later, I haven’t been back. I don’t miss it.

  2. “Calmly and quietly, the Web has put grievers in touch with all sorts of people who can help support them through the pain”

    I agree with that statement wholeheartedly – just look at this community. Not so sure about the facebook part, though. Then again, you know my issues with that place šŸ™‚

    So glad to hear your friends baby is doing better.

  3. I think there is value in FB in terms of babyloss at least in that it has allowed me to connect with other babyloss parents who aren’t bloggers, but far far more often I’d say it has caused hurt…
    All the baby updates, the pregnancy updates, the flippancy, the lack of sensitivity.

  4. oh yes and all the new friend requests you get after losing your little one… a bunch of people who werent interested before but suddenly want to watch the show with morbid fascination.

  5. Great news regarding your friends. Wonderful.

    FB is good for keeping in touch with people but it is more that people just put on there things about them rather than communicate with you. This means you get things which reflect how “nice” their life is and perhaps that is a cause of conflict with where you are at post losing a baby.

    It is also quite superficial

    I found facebook completely useless on Abigail’s anniversary weekend. People didn’t connect with the things I said and mostly I felt quite isolated whilst people continued on their lives.

    Of course you also get the comments from people who are expecting a baby but I kinda expect that – I would be the same given the chance so who am I to blame them.

    Ocassionally you get the “I have 4 children and it is so hard” comment and they do wind me up no end.

    Take care

  6. That’s terrific news about your friends! I’m really happy!

    FaceB is interesting. I was never a huge fan before Emma but I did use it. However, I only got in contact with a small number of people. I think I have about 20 friends some of whom are family, so they are all actual friends.

    After Emma died, I found that I still used the site but far less. It was, at times, quite helpful. I remember once updating and saying how hard I was finding things and within minutes one of my friends rang! So that was brilliant!

    However, I ended up deleting another friend because, although I was delighted they were expecting and that the baby was born safely, I couldn’t cope with all the updates. It was all too much.

    So I have had mixed experiences on FB. I do still use it though. Whether it helps with grief… well maybe. I suppose it depends on who you know…

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