That’s the best way I can sum up how things have been over the past few weeks.
Much of the chatter in my mind has calmed down since the baby was born. Sleep comes easier and runs deeper than it did for
most all of last year.
While last year I feel like I spent hours each day thinking of Littlegirl and our lives since she died and fretting over my wife’s pregnancy, this year I’ve just been a bit blank. Maybe I was always like this and just didn’t realise 🙂 or perhaps I’m just taking a break from being stressed and occupied with loss.
Our new baby is fantastic and we love her to bits. Her older brother is being great too with only a few accidental knees to the head and one finger biting incident to account for so far.
Last week we registered the baby’s birth, returning once again to the place where we registered Littlegirl’s death not so many months before. A lighter occasion this time, but still with the ghost of experiences past.
We also took the dust cover off the double buggy we had bought in anticipation of Littlegirl’s arrival. It had been ‘up on bricks’ for a year or so covered by a sheet in my mother in law’s house, waiting in pristine condition for someone to use it.
On the whole things have been great. It has been nice to feel somewhat normal again. We meet other parents of new children and they chat to us and we can talk to them….we’re in the gang again. They always ask how many kids we have, and we’ll tell them three and their ages and generally say nothing when they say how tough it must be to have 3 children under three years old…