Posted by: irishdad | October 26, 2009

Thinking about December

Today dawned bright and mild so we decided to take a trip down to Wicklow to Mount Usher Gardens. I don’t know much (read: nothing) about gardens, trees or plants, but these gardens were pretty and peaceful, and the air smelled fantastic! The trees in the garden were established during the 19th centry and are laid out along the wandering Vartry riverย  in a natural style that was responsible for coining the term ‘Robinsonian’.

Between trying to prevent Littleboy from falling in the river, and keeping his interviews with the dogs and babies of stranger to only one every ten minutes or so, we got to talking about what we’ll do on December fifth. This will be Littlegirl’s first anniversary.

Our thinking at the moment is that we’ll go off by ourselves with Littleboy for the day and try to do something nice together. We don’t want to have a mass or gathering of our families as that would just be too sad – it’ll be sad anyway but to mark it formally and have to meet everyone sounds like a big undertaking. So we’ll probably go somewhere not too far away like Mount Usher and try to have a decent day and reflect on our daughter and the year that has passed.

The Varty River in Mount Usher Gardens, Wicklow

The Varty River in Mount Usher Gardens, Wicklow

One part of the gardens I’d love to see again when the spring comes around is the wildflower area. The flowers are on their last legs at the moment, though I’d say they are spectacular during the spring and summer.

Em, a blue flower (Azzurus Usherius)

Em, a blue flower (Azzurus Usherius)

Pink, with a blurred Irishmam

Pink, with a blurred Irishmam in the background



  1. More beautiful scenery. One of these days, I am going to have to travel outside the US…

    We are trying to figure out our plans for the year mark too. We never had a funeral and have considered some sort of gathering to honor Maya – but sometimes, I think that might be too much for us to handle. The space shittle (our affectionate nick name for the shuttle ๐Ÿ™‚ is supposed to launch that day anyway so I doubt if hubby can even be off work on the actual day. If we are able to do anything at all, it will most likely have to be the following weekend.

    Mount Usher looks like a beautiful place to spend some time thinking about Littlegirl. I hope that when the day comes, you and Irishmam are able to find some peace.

    • Ah, those shuttles launches are always getting delayed! ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s tough to think of something to do alright. We did have a funeral for Littlegirl but it was a thoroughly grim day….at the moment we just feel like to gather everyone again would be to bring us all a lot of reminders of that sad time. I hope that you come up with a plan that works for you.

  2. LOL Azzurus Usherius commonly know as cornflower ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’m glad you liked Mt. Usher.

    xx ines

    • Mt Usher is down your neck of the woods, right? I had a feeling it was cornflower…and I have a field guide to Irish flora and fauna…I’ll try harder next time! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Well I guess it is a very personal thing what to do in the anniversary. How much do you involve other people for example.

    We told our son we wanted to do something that Abigail would have enjoyed if she was here and he chose the zoo. In the evening we looked through pics and stuff and filled in a baby book we had bought. We purchased a few things to remember Abigail too (orchid flower for the house, candle which we lit). We also went to where we scattered her ashes.

    Regarding involving other people I think you either have to give a very strong lead (tell them what to do in effect) or withdraw for those days and don’t expect other people to do much, many won’t even remember.

    For me I found the run in to the anniversary harder than the anniversary itself. I also felt a lot better after I think.

    I hope it goes gently on you!

    • Thanks. I think your advice is sound and Abigail’s anniversary sounds like a good way to spend the day and honour her….if such a day can be good.

      I’m sure we’ll be telling our families what we’re going to do, so there shouldn’t be any surprises on the day.

  4. Oh and I like the pics, good depth of field, digital SLR with long lens?

    • I wish it was a DSLR, but no, it’s a canon ixus 8mb number. A good canon dslr is on the list, but my interest in photgraphy comes and goes these days. I’ll suspect I’ll get one eventually when I feel I could do it justice.

  5. I hope that, whatever you decide, the day goes gently for you all. I won’t offer any advice about what to do because it has to be a special and personal day for each family.

    I loved the pictures and was reassured to learn that I’m not the only daddy who knows nothing at all about flowers (I grow a mean dandelion though.)

    • Thanks, I’ve been responsible for the demise of a range of plants this year I’m afraid. Next spring I’m determined to get a crop of rocket and other salads organised.

      I think we’ll come up with something decent to do for the day of the anniversary. Not too hectic…

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